We've all been involved in those conversations. You know, you're listening to the other person, but really can't wait until he stops talking, so that you can say something.
While we generally will get frustrated with the other person, our behavior is what we should really be questioning.
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his own opinion" (Proverbs 18:2).
According to that verse, the previous conversation is an example of two fools together in one room.
They're not really conversing. Both are just spouting their opinions.
Pay attention to the conversations that you have today.
Are they really conversations, or just two fools in a room?
What can we do to change?
It's not rocket science, but we need to do it.
Listen and ask questions. Make sure that you are understanding what the other one is saying by asking questions. "Did you say...?" "Did I understand...?" "What happened then...?"
Be patient. Remember that the other person is just as much a fool as you are.
What not to do:
Don't interrupt. So many conversations are just a "one-upmanship" competition. "My story is better and you need to hear it." The only thing that we listen for is for an opportunity to tell our story or voice our opinion.
What did that verse call those people who do that?
Don't attempt to solve every problem. Not all problems can be solved in a two-minute conversation.
Don't make a judgment before hearing the whole story. Stop and listen. Listen to both sides.
Don't argue and criticize. You're just proving that you think your opinion is needs to be heard.
The way to understanding is through active listening. That may require us to keep our mouths shut more!
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
Friday, September 20, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
The Nothing Box
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing."
Ever had that type of a conversation with your spouse or your teenager?
Psychologists and comedians proclaim that men have a nothing box. They are able to think in their nothing box about absolutely nothing.
Yoga and other meditation instructors will tell their followers to empty their minds. To think about nothing.
Is that even possible?
More importantly, is it biblical?
Is it just an excuse revealing a lack of discipline?
The Bible tells us repeatedly to control our thoughts. Here are just a few verses, but a concordance will reveal many more.
"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:13).
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth" (Colossians 3:2).
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2).
If you honestly can say that you were thinking about nothing, then you were not controlling your thoughts. Since the Bible commands us to think biblically all the time, if you are thinking about nothing, you are sinning.
The answer "nothing" should not be dismissed. In a discipling relationship, a parent, spouse or friend, has the task of drawing out the thoughts of the other:
"The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out" (Proverbs 20:5).
If there really is a relationship, then the responsibility lies on both parties to be honest and to take the time to discuss. The questioner shouldn't give up when he hears the answer, "Nothing." Nor should the other person hide behind this excuse.
If either party gives up when "Nothing" comes out of the mouth, a problem is brewing in that relationship.
If either party gives up when "Nothing" comes out of the mouth, both are challenged to drop the bucket lower into the well and bring it to the surface.
"Nothing."
Ever had that type of a conversation with your spouse or your teenager?
Psychologists and comedians proclaim that men have a nothing box. They are able to think in their nothing box about absolutely nothing.
Yoga and other meditation instructors will tell their followers to empty their minds. To think about nothing.
Is that even possible?
More importantly, is it biblical?
Is it just an excuse revealing a lack of discipline?
The Bible tells us repeatedly to control our thoughts. Here are just a few verses, but a concordance will reveal many more.
"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:13).
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth" (Colossians 3:2).
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2).
If you honestly can say that you were thinking about nothing, then you were not controlling your thoughts. Since the Bible commands us to think biblically all the time, if you are thinking about nothing, you are sinning.
The answer "nothing" should not be dismissed. In a discipling relationship, a parent, spouse or friend, has the task of drawing out the thoughts of the other:
"The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out" (Proverbs 20:5).
If there really is a relationship, then the responsibility lies on both parties to be honest and to take the time to discuss. The questioner shouldn't give up when he hears the answer, "Nothing." Nor should the other person hide behind this excuse.
If either party gives up when "Nothing" comes out of the mouth, a problem is brewing in that relationship.
If either party gives up when "Nothing" comes out of the mouth, both are challenged to drop the bucket lower into the well and bring it to the surface.
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