Dear Pastor, God Doesn't Need You

Dear Pastor,

God doesn't need you. I know that's hard to believe after a busy day at church.

If you weren't there, who would turn on the lights?

If you weren't there, who would organize the worship service?

If you weren't there, who would preach?

If you weren't there, who would lead the deacons' meetings?

If you weren't there, who would be on the camp board?

If you weren't there, who would make sure that the church was on fire for the Lord?

You know, those are all lies we believe when we are pastors. We wouldn't say it out loud, but we think that if we were gone for more than two weeks, the church would fall apart. The ministry of the Lord would come to a screeching halt. The church building would fall into disrepair and be a disgrace instead of a dispenser of grace.

And we humbly continue doing the work.

Even if our marriages are crumbling.

Even if our children are rebellious.

Even if we are losing the battle against temptation.

We can't ask for help.

We can't admit guilt.

We can't resign.

What would happen to the ministry?

Surely, God needs us to keep His work humming.

I know this because I've been there.

But now I'm on the other side. And you know what?

God really didn't need me.

God is still at work in the ministries that I left behind. The churches are growing. The camp ministry is bursting at the seams. People are getting saved and discipled. The church-planting effort that we were going to join is taking shape..

Without me.

And that's great.

Because God has put me where He intended to put me. He has worked in my life to make me the person that He wants me to be.

And He's still at work.

Two Disciples: The Same, but Different

Peter and Judas had the same religious education. They'd been trained by Jesus Himself. They had heard Him teach. They had seen His miracles. They had taught. They had done miracles.

They both denied Christ.

As the disciples gathered for the last Passover before the crucifixion, Jesus announced that one of them would betray Him. Their collective response was not, "It's got to be Judas!" No one suspected him. He fit right in with the rest of the them.

Jesus told Peter that he would deny his Master three times that night.

As the events unfold, Judas betrays Christ to the priests for 30 pieces of silver. He denied Christ for money. Realizing his wrong, he returned the money and hung himself.

Peter denies Christ three times in the night. He denied Christ for safety. When the rooster crowed, he remembered what Jesus had said about him.

But he didn't hang himself.

In fact, we read in Acts that Peter became the spokesperson for the fledgling church.

What was the difference?

Three times Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me?" Three times Peter answered in the affirmative (John 21:15-19).

The difference is clear. Judas loved himself. Peter loved Jesus.

Because Judas loved himself, he couldn't live with himself anymore. Guilt and shame had taken over.

Because Peter loved Jesus, he repented. He was guilty and ashamed of his sin, but because his love for Jesus was so great, he was able to take his focus off of himself. Instead of looking at himself and the possible consequences of his sinful choices, Peter chose to look at the Savior whom he loved and who loved Him.

So wallowing in despair over our sinful choices demonstrates that we are focused on ourselves, not on Jesus. We love ourselves more than we love Jesus.

Look to Jesus.