You're a selfish pig!

"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" (James 4:1).

Usually, we think the other person starts an argument.

He did something.

She said something.

If she weren't so...

If he hadn't been so...

But James wrote that the cause for fights is not the other person. It's you. You're the one to blame.

"Your passions are at war within you."

Your desires are driving you. They are controlling your thoughts, words and actions.

What you want to satisfy your desires is greater than what you know is the right thing to do.

In other words, the arguments that you get into are because you are being selfish.

You're a selfish pig!

And that's an important lesson to remember.

When you realize that you are a selfish pig, you'll be willing to stop fighting for your rights and desires.

When you realize that you are a selfish pig, you'll be willing to stand up for the truth and not your wishes and dreams.

It's not a matter of becoming a door mat. It's not even a matter of just sitting back and letting the other person have whatever they want.

It's a matter of standing up for what God says is the right thing to do, to say and to be.

God's goal for you is to become like Christ. God's goal for the other person in your argument is to become like Christ.

So rather than wasting your energy to make the other person to be like you, (i.e. do what you want to do because you want to do it!), use that energy to help them to become like Christ.

Change your passion to becoming like Christ and let that passion drive you.

Those opportunities for argument will become opportunities for you to become like Christ.