When God created Adam, He created Eve to be his helpmate. Adam was incomplete and needed help, so God gave him a helper. Whatever task Adam had to accomplish, Eve was to come beside him and help him. It wasn't a master-slave relationship, but a unity for solving problems.
However, when Adam and Eve sinned, their marriage became cursed. It was turned upside-down. Rather than being a helper, Eve's desire would be for her husband's position of leadership. She and every woman after her would want to have control of the marriage and all the details. Adam's struggle would be in leading. Adam and and every husband after him would struggle to fulfill God's role for him to be the leader in the home.
Isn't that a great combination?
Adam was created to lead and now he would struggle leading.
Eve was created to be a helper and now she would struggle to be a helper and not the leader.
And we know what happens. The more the wife leads, the less the husband feels he needs to. So she leads more and he leads less.
Rather than the wife coming alongside to help her husband, tensions are so high in this struggle for dominance, that the husband doesn't let his wife know where he needs help. So she can't fulfill her role as a helpmate.
Unless the husband and wife are both spiritually led and fighting their battles against sin, the marriage is doomed. A point will come where the wife is the leader and the husband is the follower. They'll both get what they want, but it won't be what God wants. The marriage will fall apart.
Flowers and romantic getaways won't solve this problem.
It's a work of grace. God's grace can solve it.
It's a work of humility. Husband and wife have to humble themselves before God and each other and cry out for help.
It's work. It's not a one-time event. It will last as long as the marriage lasts. Because if neither husband nor wife continually work at fighting these upside-down roles, the marriage won't last.
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